Grand Prize: One (1) Dorito
Found pristine inside a textbook. Nacho cheese flavor, theoretically. We haven't tested it and neither should you.
(A single chip. Not a bag. A chip.)
Runner Up: A Fish
Species unconfirmed. Origin unconfirmed. Currently unclaimed for reasons we choose not to speculate on.
(Please pick it up promptly.)
Third Place: A Lobster
Found in the dorm laundry room. We have questions. We are choosing not to ask them. It's yours now.
(Butter not included.)
Consolation Prize: A Box of Stuff
We genuinely don't know what's in here. Neither will you until you open it. That's half the fun. The other half is unclear.
(Contents may have contents.)
Honorable Mention: A Shoe Phone
Spy technology or foot-related emergency? We couldn't tell you. It rings sometimes. We don't answer it anymore.
(Get smart. Literally.)
Enter This Week's Drawing
One entry per person, mostly on the honor system. Winners are selected at random, except when a Josh really wants the lobster, in which case the odds shift accordingly.