What is the deal with the campus lost and found? Have you ever noticed that the second you lose an item, it enters this complete black hole of bureaucracy? You lose an umbrella, and suddenly you have to fill out a form that requires a three-generation family history just to prove you’re the guy who doesn't want to get wet.

And what about the people who find things? Who are these citizens? You find a single glove on the sidewalk, and what’s the move? You don't want to take it, because then you're a glove thief. So you balance it perfectly on top of a concrete pillar like it’s a museum artifact. "There. Now it’s art. Someone will find it."

We’re trying to eliminate the sidewalk art. If you find something, just type it into the site. But look, we’re not giving away the store here. Don’t tell us everything. If it's a backpack, just tell us "it's a backpack." Don't tell us about the half-eaten granola bar and the three weeks of unwashed gym clothes inside. Keep some mystery! We need secrets, people. If you give away the secrets, any guy walking by can just point and say, "Yeah, that’s my backpack, I love old granola." Let them guess what's inside. That’s the game!

You want your stuff back? Prove it's your stuff.